Perfectionism and performance eliminate the need for relationships.
My guest this week is Christine Hoover, a licensed counselor, mama of three grown kids, devoted wife, and outdoor adventure seeker. The first time I heard her speak was at a retreat and it was like she was peering into my soul and speaking to all the root issues. I’m excited to share her wisdom with you and I KNOW you’ll take away some great nuggets on finding true rest in a busy life.
FALSE GUILT
Guilt is something we all mamas feel at one point or another. False guilt is a confusing label because it can for sure feel real, but false guilt drains you. It is based on a feeling or false belief.
I’m a bad mom because…
…I yelled at my child.
…My son had boxed mac ‘n cheese 2 nights this week.
…We got off schedule and missed park time today.
These are all feelings of false guilt. We aim for perfectionism and fear failure. These moments where we feel we’ve fallen short as mamas weigh heavy on us and give us a sense that we are failing in motherhood. We need to avoid these negative feelings which give us unhealthy views of ourselves and instead accept that we’re human beings just trying out best.
If you need a little help with identifying guilt, I’ve created a guide just for you. Click here to get my Guilt vs. Conviction guide right in your inbox.
SOUL CARE & MARGIN
We’ve all heard of self-care (anyone say spa day?) but soul care is not so commonly known. Soul care is a chance to learn yourself. This can be found through silence, meditation, and prayer.
I love the idea of soul care because it provides a beautiful invitation to be able to understand what’s happening inside and go BELOW the surface (like an iceberg.) The part of the iceberg above the water is not what sinks the ship, it’s what’s underneath the surface. We need to know how to care for our inner life so our ship does not sink
Creating margin in your life allows for maturity, self-awareness and love. Your focus should be what to do with margin and not how to get more. I guarantee there is already room in your life for margin. I encourage you to go back a few episodes and listen to a chat I had with Wynne Elder on how to create margin in your life. Check it out here.
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY
Every mom is in her own stage of motherhood. Every day we know more and more which means we have to give ourselves grace to do the best we can just a little bit at a time. Don’t fall victim to the comparison game. I guarantee you will lose every time. There will always be another mom out there who looks like she has it all together while you’re struggling to get out the door wearing a matching pair of socks. Embrace the stage you’re in and give yourself grace.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS
We have the choice to live in the fast lane, the way the world says to do it.
Hustle
Hurry
Fast
Busy
Stress
Or we have the choice to do it differently.
Intentional
Calm
Slow
Quiet
Purposeful
Which one of those lists is where you want to be? I’m going out on a limb here and say the second! Am I right???
Ready to learn the steps it takes to live the way you choose instead of the way that’s been thrust upon you by the world?
I love that you’re choosing to be unhurried with me! It’s not something that comes naturally but it sure is worth it!
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