We all know fear is at the root of most of our inaction. Fear of the unknown and fear of failure. Two major paralyzers. So how do we overcome fear once we’ve identified it?
As moms, as “grown ups” we know we should be able to get past fear … but why don’t we?
You actually already know that it takes more energy to be in fear than to be free from it. But what about that next step. The step that leaves fear behind?
We first have to illuminate our fear and that’s exactly what we’re going to learn about in this week’s episode of the Unhurried life.
My guest this week, Erick James, broke through a wall.
“Move past fear”
We’ve all heard it, but she delivers the steps and process to do just that. Taking action, embracing a season of execution rather than passivity! Ooooo, this is so good!
HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR IN LIFE
A lot of how you handle fear is decide on how you were raised. Ericka was raised by entrepreneurial parents as well as in an atmosphere of racial bullying. Now you can’t go back and change your childhood but you can start to shape and form the childhoods of those you’re around.
Because of her family she was raised to believe she could rise above her circumstances.
Sometimes your internal journey is going to look different than your external journey when it comes to overcoming fear.
Erasing the words, “I can’t” from your vocabulary and realize you are enough.
Ericka was always voted most inspirational growing up. She learned to rise above from her family which gave her a natural desire for leadership. This lead her to not only build her own greatness but help others build their greatness as well.
“It takes so much more energy to be free from fear than to just stay in it. ”
We stay in fear because of the familiar – avoiding the unknown. Use fear as a tool to illuminate your pathway and see where you should (and could) be headed.
We all have purpose in us, but fear holds us back. However, it also shows us what we’re fearing and what we don’t believe in. We’re not believing in our self. It illuminates the place where our self worth lives.
There is a method to overcoming fear. It starts with evaluating how you view your self worth.
HOW TO REMOVE FEAR FROM MIND AND HEART
Let’s start by bridging the gap in who you are and who you were made to be by building something new and extraordinary.
As a single mom sacrificing her dreams to support her family, Ericka took a corporate job. But one day she took the leap. She stepped away and in that prayed this prayer – “Lord how can I reach people from my living room?” As a single mom she had to rise above her circumstances and forge a new path. 20 years ago the entrepreneurial landscape was very different from today.
When you feel like you were made for more than where you’re at now, you can find the drive for wanting to do more. But you have to tap into what you were made for.
Have you been wearing the mom hat, doing the mom thing, being grateful but it still doesn’t quite fill you up?
Fight for your dreams. Learn how to wear different hats for a season, google stuff!
When it comes to the mama hat, and entrepreneur hat there is a struggle in knowing when it’s the right time to put on the right hat. But it can be done by having moments to pause and reflect when you remove fear from mind and heart you embrace a fulfillment unlike what you’re feeling while still in fear.
Take head, it’s important to take care of yourself and to remember not to get consumed by any hat you’re wearing. Stay connected and keep your mind clear. Allow your heart to feel and urn for more, this gets you out of fear and into fulfillment!
Maybe you’re struggling with having some passions and realizing your own reality has stopped you. Your reality of changing diapers, prepping meals, carpool line … sometimes your dreams in reality look different but that doesn’t make them less your dreams.
When you walk away from the familiar you give yourself no other choice but to go further.
It’s time to ask, “If you trusted in the Lord for this, would you still fear it?”
This takes a lot of self work, looking at your inner journey.
HOW CAN I TRAIN MY MIND TO OVERCOME FEAR?
So, you’re wondering how you can train your mind (and heart) to overcome fear? Remember this, it takes so much more energy to push through fear than to stay in fear so you’re going to naturally want to stay comfy and right where you’re at.
A huge pivotal moment for Ericka was realizing she was just tired. For the first 5 years of her daughter’s life she worked a corporate job to support herself and her daughter until she decided she wasn’t living her dreams fully and she was stuck in fear of fulfilling her purpose.
The feeling of something more was in her.
She started writing her ideal job. You can write your ideal life, job, accomplishments, or business.
What would it look like, what would your role be? Take the time and courage to write it down and leave your fear mindset behind.
Be bold, fear can not be a part of your process for deciding what the next step is going to be.
The literal definition of fear is, an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
You need to look at your situation and ask, are your feelings of fear relative and rational. There may be some fear that are … and these need to be approached carefully when training your mind to overcome them. But there are others that are a tad irrational…and those can be kicked to the curb with simple exercises like:
- Writing down your fears
- Asking close friends or family if they’ve seen you be held back by fear
- Assessing your vision of self worth
Take a few minutes and do these things. The first step in overcoming fear is identifying it!
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WHAT CAUSES FEAR?
When you give up or stop fighting for what you’re passionate about you give into fear. In fact it can even cause some new fears when you fail to fight for your dreams.
When you don’t know who you were meant to be and you don’t have clarity for who you were made to be, you’re stuck in your tracks. All sorts of road blocks can come up and cause fear in ways you had not recognized before.
Have you ever caught yourself saying:
- I can’t…
- I’m not enough…
Identifying who you were created to be, looking for bits and pieces that shape and form you into where you are today can keep you moving forward. Look for moments of break through and transformation. What’s stopping you from being who you were made to be? Why are those words, I can’t and I’m not enough part of your vocabulary in the first place. Can you trace them back, follow the roots?
Failing to get your “fill up time”. Knowing if you’re an introvert or extrovert. Knowing your enneagram number. Knowing what fills you up and who you are helps to overcome fear. When you fail to fill up you are setting yourself up for fear to overtake you.
Ericka uses the word cocoon to represent her time of pulling back and filling herself up!
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Coming up next week is something I’ve been fearful about lately and decided to overcome! You won’t want to miss how I put this week’s episode into real life practice so make sure you tune into the Unhurried life next week!
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