It’s only April so why do you already feel like the year has come and gone? Why is everyday running together into one big lump and why oh why does it feel like you just can’t catch a break? Figuring out how to avoid mom burnout is on your todo list and it’s been there for a while.
Kids fighting with each other, daycare calls that someone threw up, someone wet the bed, another one just needs to be held all day long, little hands tap your arm at 2 AM, it’s Monday already, where did the weekend actually go?
It’s just part of life to be totally exhausted and in a haze, right?
I’ll be the first to tell you that this stage of life, this season is not the easiest one you’ll be in. Telling you it’s the hardest confirms your suspicion but doesn’t really make anything better. So, let’s slow down for a sec and have a real talk about where you are and where you want to be.
As we talk about mom burnout I want to encourage you to read all the way through this post and even listen in on the Unhurried Life Podcast. I have some big and exciting news coming at the end of this article and a new plan moving forward that I think you’ll love to hear about since it reflects how to truly change!
WHAT CAUSES MOM BURNOUT?
Let’s look at signs and symptoms you may be experiencing mom burnout and how to overcome it (or avoid it all together).
Mom burnout comes when you’ve had enough. You’ve gotten to the place where you feel like even your lifeline has fallen through the cracks. The sun sets and you’re totally fatigued (I actually call this “sunset fatigue”), tears roll down your cheeks when a kid is sick and misses school or daycare and NOT because you’re sad you’re little one doesn’t feel well, but because you needed the break (yikes, I hope I’m not alone on that one!).
Getting burnt out as a mama is overwhelming exhaustion (or overexposure) to parenting stress. When you live in a state like this you start to see your parenting skills or processes get a bit skewed. Feelings of hopelessness and frustration start to take over and it get’s harder and harder to laugh at what’s going on around you.
Laughing at your kid marching up the hill from the backyard, completely naked except for cowboy boots completely covered from brow to boot in mud means you can step back from the situation enough to giggle and then say, “so you learn not to do this again, you’re getting hosed off with cold well water while dinner gets cold” … has this happened recently … ?
If you’re completely stressed and burnt out you miss the laugh, you see the poor choices and you lay into a lecture (been there too). So ask yourself if you’re in a place of laughter or lecture and realizing when the time is right for either one.
- RELATED BLOG POST AND PODCAST – How to Get Out Of Survival Mode
What causes mom stress? A whole list of things can cause it and putting that whole list into practice at the same time causes the burnout. Now, here’s a whole list of ways to avoid it! But don’t just read what I’ve written, take time to think for yourself and what you need right now to avoid mom burnout!
- Remember to laugh (even if it needs to be later or as you turn your head away)
- Assign helpers in your family (or when I was a kid these were called chores) Who’s job is it to put away silverware or take out the trash … I bet your little ones could get some more done than you think.
- Find new ways to discipline try it with stories. Give your kids a story of some prince or princess doing what they are doing and ask them to identify what’s right, then fill them in and let them know that’s what they are doing (this is a tried and true practice coming straight from the Bible (can someone say David and Bathsheba)
- Get away for a while. Call in the babysitter, swap watching kids with the neighbor or ask the in-laws, make a way to get away!
- Log off social for a minute (or 10,080 – that’s a week) this will be such good therapy
- Get real therapy or see a counselor (since the pandemic a lot of insurance companies are offering to cover a few sessions, call and see what you can work out)
There are so many other little tips and tricks and I hope to provide you with even more over on the podcast so click over to Apple Podcast and scroll to find some that will help!
WHY ARE MOMS SO STRESSED?
When I started my photography business I was shopping around for online systems to manage all the things I was doing. Bookkeeping, scheduling, sending emails, reminders for photo shoots, a place for clients to sign contracts and keep track of said contracts, and all the other ins and outs of wedding photography.
I came across a system called 17hats.com now that I’ve hung up the photography hat (for now) I think back to that program and kinda wish they made a mom version of it. Moms for sure wear 17 hats at bear minimum. So the question, “Why are moms so stressed” has a lot to do with our multitasking and multi personalities.
If you’re trying to avoid mom burnout let’s look at what the root cause for some of your stress could be. Stress can be defined as: the degree to which you feel overwhelmed or unable to cope as a result of pressures that are unmanageable.
Have you sat down and looked at your extracurriculars, and not just for your kids but for you too? Are there areas that seem to cause a little extra stress, or places that seem to cause your heart to race when you think about doing them or going to them. Sports, piano, life group, tutoring, scouts or dance. These are all good things but could it be the wrong season or even just the wrong month?
Take a moment and write out all the “extra’s” you’re doing right now and see if there is a way to create some breathing room. Shooting an email to a dance teacher and saying we’re going to be missing May or deciding to take a few weeks off from a commitment is ok.
There may be some underlying notion that you have to do it all and give your kids the best experience but if you’re stressed that makes your family stressed and that’s for sure not an experience you want to give you family.
Clearing your calendar for a month should bring you peace, not hyperventilation. Where are you truly committed?
- FREE RESOURCE – The Unhurried Life Starter Kit
I’d love to offer you the Unhurried Life Starter Kit. A guide to truly start filtering out your life. Remember everything is a season and just like Winter doesn’t last year round, extracurriculars don’t need to either. And stress for sure could take a backseat as you clear a month or even a few months to press restart.
THE TRUTH ON MOM STRESS
Here is the truth on mom stress and burnout. It’s not that you need to lower your expectations or “just get through it”. It’s that you need to change your perspectives and embrace going through it.
Changing your perspective and priorities can relieve pressure. Once you’ve made the change speak it out loud and tell your family so it becomes real. The truth about mom stress is it can warp and disfigure our family. It’s not what we want but we don’t know how to get out.
Instead of longing to just get through the day embrace that this is a season you’re currently in. You’re here so let’s create new norms and new ideals, create new standards for your family and realize that in a few months your season may change again and you need to embrace something new again.
HOW TO AVOID MOM BURNOUT
Here is the part where I tell you my big news and how I’m avoiding mom burnout in real life.
TAKE. A. BREAK.
Taking a break looks quite different for each of us. For me, in this season, it looks like taking my first true (non-maternity leave) break. It’s like vacation but I’m not going anywhere and I’m not worrying about getting Instagram stories to share or, posts for Instagram, or lining up the next guest for the show. Although those are all good things and things I enjoy they, in truth, take time away from my family.
I’ve seen and realized that I’m close to burnout. If not maybe already seeing signs of it. Today we see women online and hear podcasts that sound like someone has it all together and we gauge our life next to theirs. Well guess what, I don’t have it all together and the best way I can see to not totally lose it is to take a step back.
I preach on The Unhurried Life Podcast and I write on the blog all the tips and tricks to simplification and organization and living in a place of rest and now you get to see my actions hold true. I want to practice what I preach!
So that I can put my family first I’m taking 3 months off of the podcast and blogging. I’ll be taking big breaks off social media as well and when I come back it’s all going to look a little different.
Earlier this week I launched my new website at jbrazeal.com. I’ve been working like a crazy lady behind the scenes to make it perfect. So, that it’s a tool and a resource for you to live more unhurried.
I launched the site and will be starting my break at the same time so you can still access what you need even if I’m just over here eating chocolate and watching Emily in Paris after bed time … haha if only! This site can be a resource and anytime you find something that sounds like it could help, rather that’s getting your photos organized, figuring out your morning routine or grabbing the Unhurried life Starter kit you’ll be giving me your email address which means….during my break from the podcast we still get to chat.
Getting to talk via email is going to be so much fun, so personal and a great way for us to stay in touch! Also when the Unhurried Life Podcast does come back, it’s going to look a little bit different and I’ll tell you why in July!!!!! Lead in cause there is even bigger change coming you’re going to flip over!
Click around and grab some tools to make your life easier and avoid mom burnout! Remember to share this with a friend, forward it on and tune into the Unhurried Life Podcast!
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