When you share your story you’re sharing the heavy stuff inside that you were never meant to carry on your own. This is what living in community is all about and you don’t get there overnight. There is a risk. Sharing your story can be scary but the gain far outweighs the risk. When you open up and go first, you’re building a bridge between two people whether you know it or not.
“Vulnerability is the surest bridge to build connection”
This week on The Unhurried Life Podcast we continue the Becoming Bold Series with my good friend Wynne Elder. She’s opened up and shared her story with us on the first episode of the series you can listen to it here.
Right now we’re going to dive into sharing your story and how this builds connection and confidence. When you open up to share, you’re putting yourself in a true place of vulnerability and that takes courage. If you’re feeling like you could use a little nudge in the courage department don’t worry, courage can be taught. That’s what this Becoming Bold Series is all about!
I want to make sure I’m clear on something before we go deep. Vulnerability is not about overexposure – yes there is a time and place to completely let your guard down but what we’re talking about here is connecting through emotion and experience. I feel like Brene Brown said it best here –
“When you feel exposed, don’t tap out, stay brave stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringy moment and lean into the hard conversation and keep leading.”
When it comes to connecting, there is not better way than to share your story.
FREE RESOURCE: Becoming Bold Weekly Worksheet
WHY IS SHARING YOUR STORY IMPORTANT?
Why is it important to share your story? This is the very best way to create connection. And believe me, you may not always feel like sharing your story especially when you don’t feel like you’re special enough or have anything unique to say.
Know this…you have a story! Own it and know what it is.
Take a moment to sit down with your spouse (I know that feels weird) and share your story with him. My hubby and I did this a while back and he was actually surprised at some of the things I shared and I was surprised by some things he shared too.
Going deep for the first time with someone safe gives you a solid foundation. Next, move on to your bestie and KEEP GOING!
Sharing your story connects you to someone else. It makes you feel known and seen and if you don’t share, you and others are missing out on connection.
Being able to empower others to take a bold step because you’ve been there is priceless. You can share your story to encourage others on their own journey.
HOW DO I SHARE MY STORY?
When it comes to sharing your story with others we tend to try and stay at the 2 min long version. We skip the hard, the messy, and the tough. All of that is what builds the connection and makes the actual story.
“You can change lives just by sharing your story. There is power in that.”
The beauty of your experience and your story is that nobody can argue with your story. It’s just what’s happened to you so it’s a safe place to start when building connection. However, remember what I mentioned up above. There is a difference in vulnerable overexposure and going deep to connect emotionally. Know that vulnerability is not an excuse to drop all boundaries, self awareness is a key element to sharing.
Wynne talks about how sharing her own story has inspired families to adopt. She could have just kept the long, hard, and emotional part out of the journey and gone straight to – we struggled to have kids so we adopted. But she goes into the longing, the process and the hard parts. This is what makes the miracle at the end a miracle.
When you share try not to downplay your grief or your story by skipping over the parts that could form the true connection.
Perfectionism, people think they can’t share because they don’t want to fail or they know it’s not finished.
Take people along on your journey and go along with them.
IVF journey, taking people along with the hard, the miscarriage and the failed IVF makes the miracle so much sweeter.
An experience to connect with others, it doesn’t just happen, you have to block off time!
5 TIPS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY
Your story isn’t just for you it can be about connecting others for their story. Hey, this is humility, humility is so honorable.
Connect and say I’ve been there too, I see you, I hear you.
1. Go first
2. Give the long version
3. Don’t ever downplay your story
4. Practice wise vulnerability
5. Share absolute truth (all the messy in between)
IMPORTANCE OF SHARING YOUR STORY
Now, I want to go on a little bit of a different track here because this podcast is for living and a lot of us listening have a business or want to have a business. Wynne has such a wealth of knowledge when it comes to business, let’s talk for a second about boldly sharing stories in business.
Business is about relationships – Facts tell and stories sell.
Sharing and painting a picture to show people the transformation.
“Confidence is the common denominator amongst all successful people – confidence is this one thing – a person’s willingness to experience negative emotions”
Being willing to fail in front of people rather than never trying and never knowing.
It does matter, your story matters, it may be different but that doesn’t mean it’s less.
No matter where you are in your life and journey there is always something we can learn from one another and being in community, sharing your lives together.
“We should think about each other to see how we can encourage each other to show love and do good works. 25 We must not quit meeting together, as some are doing. No, we need to keep on encouraging each other. This becomes more and more important as you see the Day getting closer.”
Hebrews 10:24–25 ERV
FINDING YOUR PURPOSE
When it comes to confidence and direction you may feel a bit lost if you haven’t truly established your purpose. You’ve probably found that it’s easy to overcommit and quickly get overwhelmed when you’re lacking that sense of purpose. So, where do you begin? How do you continue to build confidence and find your boldness? You find your purpose.
Purpose and direction are exactly what we’ll be talking about next week on the Becoming Bold series with Wynne Elder. To make sure you’re getting the most out of this series and the most out of your LIFE, we’ve created the Becoming Bold Weekly Worksheet to go along with each episode. You can grab it here!
We’re also encouraging you to grab a friend and go through this series together. Our desire for community is stronger than ever with what COVID has done to the landscape of our lives. Use this series as a launching point, a conversation starter and be bold. Go first, find a friend to go through this with you.
You can make true connection by joining The Unhurried Life Facebook Community and get connected there!
FREE COMMUNITY: The Unhurried Life Facebook Community
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