When it comes to mom stress and all the things we’re juggling have you ever noticed that you can have the exact same situation as someone else and have a totally different experience?
For example, they have 2 kids and a 2,200 square foot home, a husband and a dog just like you, yet your lives are totally different. How you handle stress and your situation is no where near the same.
On the other hand, you can have totally different experiences and still feel the same! That’s what truly brings us together as women, sisters, wives and moms. We can read these questions (no matter where we are in life) and start nodding our head …
- Why is motherhood so stressful?
- How can I overcome mom stress?
- Why does it feel like I’m just not doing enough?
- When will I ever have 5 min alone (without paying for a sitter)?
- Will I ever get ahead?
These questions are all too familiar and ring over and over inside your head for a reason. Your time and perspective are out of whack. A reset and a plan are needed. Join me this week as I chat with my special secret guest about one of the MAJOR mom stress causes and we come up with a plan to get it taken care of.
My secret guest on The Unhurried Life Podcast this week is someone that – is just like you, you’ll find yourself nodding your head at every question I ask and shouting “AMEN” at every answer she gives!
Being able to relate and feel heard is priceless!! Come on over to The Unhurried Life Podcast this week to hear one of your fellow mamas shine light on a common mom stressor.
Why is Motherhood So Stressful?
I have one word (well actually 2) self doubt. We’re not doing a good enough job, each child is different, we have a lot of things to do and do well. I’m sure you’re asking yourself – how do I know I’m doing any of this close to right? Will these little people turn out halfway decent?
There are a few demands demanding from us as well: time demands, financial demands, and relationship demands.
Oh the pressure!!!
I’m sure reading over this you’re starting to see your job in a whole new light. What CEO of a major corporation is concerned that one of the low level employees may be developing some temper tantrum tendencies too far past the 2 year stage? Or loses sleep at night trying to figure out if the IT guy is getting enough positive affirmations to one day be a good father to his children? I mean when you think of it like that … we moms are kinda the BEST CEO’S EVER!
You have about 72 different rolls to fulfill and hats to wear and you just want to wear one of them well!
Is It Normal to Feel Overwhelmed as a Mother?
Well, yes. Yes it is! But let me tell you what is causing your stress in the first place. Mom stress means you’re trying to be in control all the time! No guilt for that but it does need to be something you slowly – with deep breaths – release. The feeling of overwhelm (in my definition book) means you just don’t know where to start when it comes to tackling a problem, situation or task.
Overwhelm is being in too deep, or having so many options you’re paralyzed when it comes to picking one.
For example, one of your rolls as mom is to be the family memory keeper. At all the events and first days and life stages who’s the one with the phone out waving an arm over her head trying to get everyone to “Look at me, look at me, HEY, look at me … now smile!” It’s you!
Now, think about all those tens of thousands of photos on your phone, those little memories and stories of your kids childhood. What are you going to do with them? How will you keep them safe and share them with your kids in 10 or 15 years?
I’m sure you’re starting to feel a little overwhelmed at those questions because you don’t know where to start. You have all of these things to do but no idea how to do it. The photos are piling high and you feel a responsibility to your loved ones to document and then share. It’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed given you probably take about 182 photos a month (or more if your a woman and MORE if your a mom!). Give it a few months and the mom stress related to the thousands of visual memories on your phone is overwhelming!
If this is a mom stress for you (photo overwhelm) then keep reading! I’ve got something that will make your life way easier coming up!
How to Manage Mom Stress
There are a lot of mindset shifts to help manage mom stress and those are so important but if you’re like me (and most moms) and you want something that you can do now, an action to take, then I’ve got just what you need. Go on vacation! Just kidding but really that would help.
Managing and overcoming are totally different. Managing mom stress is a short term solution. This is the life line you get thrown when you’re in too deep. Overcoming mom stress (which I’ll talk about as you keep reading) is the get out of the pool, dry off, lather on some SPF and relax while sipping a marg part of life!
You have to grab the lifeline to get out though so let’s talk about managing mom stress and keeping sanity within arms reach. You need 3 things to manage mom stress: productivity, lasting impact, and demonstration of your love.
If you feel like you’re just spinning your wheels, doing the same thing day after day after day, you need to change it up. Create a system or a plan for giving yourself at least one productive task. Once you know your productive task, we’ll use ordering your groceries as an example, acknowledge that task.
Seriously, make a big deal when that productive task get’s done. After you press, ‘complete order’ and you know your groceries are being prepared for you (magically) throw a mini party! Side note, if you don’t order your groceries DO IT ONE TIME! For the love dear mama. I say this coming from the deepest part of my heart – order your groceries – don’t go in, don’t even do curbside. Order those bad boys just this once and don’t look back!
To manage stress make sure that you’re doing one thing a week that has a lasting impact on your family. This is what will get you out of the survival mode mentality and into the planning ahead. Want to learn about how to get out of the survival mode mentality, click here.
For example, when we talked about photo overwhelm earlier – this is a great way to do something that is creating a lasting impact. Spending time organizing your family memories and creating a family photo album is going to have a lasting impact. This doesn’t mean you have to complete the task, it just means you need to set aside time to work on it. Even if it’s 10 minutes a few times a week after the kids go to bed instead of a Netflix escape! Yup, I said instead of not in addition to…
DEMONSTRATION OF YOU LOVE
The last way to manage your mom stress and grab onto that lifeline to keep you afloat is to find a way to demonstrate you love. You can demonstrate your love purposefully to yourself, your husband, your kids, or a close friend.
Think of a way to act out of love. When you demonstrate love to yourself this is NOT selfish. I mean come on. Even Jesus Christ took time to pray alone and spend time away. After spending the day ministering to thousands Jesus told the disciples “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:30-32 Giving yourself a few moments is an order from Christ.
Demonstrating your love to your family or friends, outside of the normal (and exhausting) daily chores of running the household, could look like special moments. Feel free to announce this.
“I love you so much, let’s cuddle in the chair and read Little Blue Truck”.
Or to your husband, “Babe, I want to show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you, can we go for a short walk to reconnect?”
You get the idea, making it known that you love and demonstrating it is a great way to manage mom stress.
How Can I Overcome Mom Stress?
Moving right along into overcoming mom stress. This is the part that happens as you climb out of the pool. You pull the lifeline (managing your stress above) and you get out.
First, Take a quick “home climate test” in your home. Allow yourself to truthfully analyze and gauge what sort of place your home is. Is it a place you and your kiddos feel safe, loved, and unhurried?
Here are 3 tips to Overcome Mom Stress:
1. Plan out solutions or ways to take a break before you get to the stress point.
2. Schedule in time for life changes and the effort to make them (these are major shifts)
3. Realize the lie that “if you would just try harder it would be easier” mom stress is not your “fault”
Only once you take the time to fully commit to doing life differently and realizing it’s going to LOOK different than your neighbors can you overcome the stressful place you’re in.
I want to help you overcome one of the biggest stressors we’ve already talked about here and over on the Unhurried Life Podcast with my special guest this week! The stress of telling your story. Telling your family’s story through visual memories. Everybody has a story to tell, you just feel too overwhelmed to take action.
With a plan and a friend to walk you through it and give you the tools to start, you can overcome this mom stress of memory keeper! Join me in my LIVE workshop – 3 reasons why organizing your photos is actually easier than you think! This is 1 hour of your time well spent. It’s time to be hyper productive (you have a really good guide). It’s a time to leave a lasting impact for your family and show them that you care. Demonstrate your love by showing them they have a beautiful, fun and exciting story to share!
Coming to the Photo Organization Workshop will take a stressor off your shoulders, burden lifted. After you come and learn you’ll be itching to share what you know with other mamas!! Click here to save your seat now cause room is limited!
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